Never Make Fun Of The Hat!
by ben10987654321
Summary: Clark Luthor meets his match in the shape of a tiny 12 year old in a funny hat.


**Never Make Fun Of The Hat!**

Summary: Clark Luthor meets his match in the shape of a tiny 12 year old in a funny hat.

Disclaimer: I own nothing from DC or Marvel.

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A man dressed in black is flying. He wears black boots, pants, coat and shirt. The only splash of alternate colour is the silver U within a shield on his chest.

He is flying over Metropolis.

His is flying over his city.

He may not sit on a throne and rule over all but he might as well because there is none who can challenge him.

Well there's one but he tries not think about _him._

To all the tiny little people below he is known as Ultraman.

His real name is Clark Luthor.

His superhearing picks up a woman's scream below and he frowns. He comes to a stop, hovering in the air, his black coat flapping in the wind. It's not that screams are unusual. It is just usually he is responsible for them.

Hmm. This might be mildly diverting, he supposes.

He hones in on the screams and shoots downward, finding a woman being molested by a gang of men.

Ultraman grins. Oh this is going to be so good. He hasn't had a chance to kill someone for hours. It's not like him at all to go so long without some blood on his hands.

Not that he is doing to save the woman out of any foolish altruistic motivations you understand. It is just he can tell from here that the woman is a looker and when he saves her he'll demand a _reward._

Although to be fair the reward is more on her part than his to get the honour of spending...well he might stretch this out for a few hours with him...assuming she can last that long. After all humans are such fragile things. He tends to wear them out quickly.

It only takes him a few seconds to take down the men before he turns his attentions to the woman. Blond, busty, great hips and legs, blue eyes widened in terror at recognising the symbol on his chest. Perfect.

He advances on her as she backs up against the wall, more terrified of this one man than of the gang he just took out.

He places his hands either side of her head trapping her, a seductive grin on his face. "Now let me see here. By my reckoning I just saved you. What should I ask for in return, hmm?"

The woman swallows. "Please. Don't hurt me," she pleads in a tearful whisper.

Ultraman plays with a few strands of her hair. "You seem to forget. This city and everything in it is mine, to do with as I please. I saved you. I want a reward and you're going to give it to me, whatever I want, aren't you? Because if you don't I'll just take it anyway and then I can guarantee it will hurt a lot," he promises, his voice growing more sinister and darker as he talks. His hand descends to rise and up and down her thigh. She bites back a sob.

"Hey! I don't think she wants you to do that!"

Ultraman stops and blinks. It's been so long since anyone had the nerve to stand up to him he's actually shocked. His head snaps round to his left and he gets another shock. It's a short, shrimpy little girl with long brown hair in jeans, a jacket and on her head a yellow duck themed beanie. His lips soon curve up into an amused smirk. This is going to be fun.

He makes one step to move toward the girl when a hand grabs his arm. His female playmate for the evening.

"Don't," she begs. "She's just a girl. I'll do anything you want," she offers if he leaves the girl alone.

Ultraman chuckles. "Oh I know you'll do what I want but disrespect like that cannot be tolerated. Now you," he points at her. "Don't move from that spot or else. Understand?"

The woman nods in defeated resignation.

Ultraman struts up the girl who is staring at him with something he hasn't seen in ages. Defiance. He had almost missed it. He bends down to her height. "Now what do we have here?" he asks, looking her up and down, not seeing anything very much. "Isn't it a little late for you to be out at night little girl?"

"I'm 12 years old!" she declares.

"Are you indeed? Yet here you are in that childish hat." He plucks it off her head completely missing the flash of anger in her eyes. He examines her hat closely. "You know you can tell a lot about people by the clothes they wear. You ever seen the way ducklings follow their mother around?"

The girl nods.

"Mindless sheep," he hisses nastily. "No independent thought at all. Just following their parent around, doing whatever they're told. Even when that parent is a cruel, selfish bastard!"

The girl gasps. "You said a bad word!" she tells him off.

"So I did. I've got a lot more. Stick around when I have my fun with my woman back there and you'll hear a lot more but we'll get to that. Back to the hat. You see what this tells me is you're either one of two people. Either the parent leading around the mindless or you are one of the mindless but you want to know what the truly sad part is, little girl?"

She says nothing, still staring at him defiantly as if she has no clue who he is.

"It doesn't matter which you are because all this hat tells me is that you're a sad, pathetic little girl trying to deny the truth of the world by hiding in childish delusion. There is only one leader around here. Me. And as for that little tale of ducklings following their mother I saw that once when I was about your age. Want to know what I did?" He smiles a truly terrible, cruel grin. "I picked them up one by one and snapped their tiny little necks."

"Why?" the girl asks, horror in her face. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I can. Because it's fun. Just like it will be fun when I tear this hat of yours to tiny little pieces? I wonder what you'll do then? Will you cry? Will you call out for mommy? If you have any last words now would be the time to say them."

The girl locks her green eyes on him, not afraid in the least. "You're just a bully...and...and a meanie and a bad man!"

"You've just listed my best qualities," he quips with a sardonic laugh.

The girl's fingers curl into fists. "You have 1 second to give me my hat back!" she demands.

Ultraman snorts with laughter. "Or what? You'll cry? Boo hoo," he mocks her. He doesn't notice the purple glow in her eyes.

"You want some last words," she snarls in anger. "I've got some. Never, ever touch the hat of Princess Powerful!" she proclaims loudly and she punctuates her point with an uppercut to Ultraman. The air ripples with power as the black clad man's head snaps back, as his body is propelled through the air, smashing through building after building after building until he clears the entire city and he won't land until far into the countryside beyond. He won't wake up for an hour and it'll be two before he can stand again.

The woman stands there in shock. A little girl did _that _to Ultraman?!

"Molly!" another voice shouts.

And round the corner comes a Goth themed teenage girl with black hair and a blond teenage boy.

"I ask you to do one simple thing to keep an eye on her and you can't even do that!" the girl complains to the boy.

"Excuse me?!" he exclaims. "Whose messed up spoken spell got us stuck in this world in the first place!" he fires back.

The girl points at him, away to retaliate when she spots all the fallen guys and Molly retrieving her hat off the ground and dusting it off. She spots the physically shaking woman. "Are you alright?" she asks in concern at the woman's state.

The woman nods slowly.

"Mol?" she queries of the younger girl. "What happened here?"

"He made fun of my hat!" she pouts.

"He? He who?"

"Uh, Nico," the blond guy says, tapping her on the shoulder to get her attention.

"What Chase?" Nico asks sharply.

He points away up the alley.

Nico looks and sees the holes through all the buildings. "Uh, Mol did you do that?"

"He deserved it. Big fat meanie head!" she insults him. She places her hat back on her had, making sure to angle it rakishly. "Now how about we get out of this stupid world and get back to our own even stupider one!" she demands before stomping off.

Chase shakes his head. "Seriously she is scary."

Nico has to agree. "Just imagine what she'll be like when she grows up," she points out.

Chase shudders at the imagery. "I just want to know what kind of idiot would insult her hat. I mean was the guy brain-dead?" he asks because anyone with any common sense knows not to upset Molly Hayes.

Nico looks back at where the guy's trajectory must have taken him. "If he wasn't before," she says and then her voice becomes gravely grim, "he is now."

The End.

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_Author's Note: Oh come on who hasn't wanted to see Ultraman pwnd by Molly? She's certainly strong enough as in for example she once ripped Cloak's cloak off. A feat he said not even a God could accomplish. Plus she's pwnd Wolverine at least twice. Anyway just a crazy idea I had and have now written. Hoped you enjoyed it._


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